urgh... sian... just want to complain.
this will be another venting emotions entry.
Sat, 30 Apr.
and this is only my 3rd paper.
i think i have been working real hard for these papers.
but the exam seems to disappoint me.
dun think i could have answered the best that i could.
i had an ok 1st paper, adnormal psych. and this is one paper that i'm sort of confident about.
paper 2: sw2105 relationship skills and social work
damn, it looks like i have studied everything. i really almost did study everything.
and although i understood my stuff, i couldn't write in a calm and interesting way.
couldn't give enough examples. in the end it still boils down to not enough time for prep.
why? cos you only started 1 week ago before the exams to study that.. zhisheng.
and although you covered almost everything, relationship skills is about applying. not regurgitating.
paper3: pl3232 bio psych
damn damn damn
i was quite angry after the paper.
i want to look for people to blame.
i want to look for people to share the condemning of this paper
urgh.
i do indeed have potential people to blame.
i only had 1 and a half day to study this. straight after my sw2105 paper.
but i think i managed quite well, because i have read everything before, or at least i thought i have.
but the whole of fri at tamp lib, i was spending about 2 hours plus to reply messages and helping others to understand the material. to the point that i have to ask people to stop asking me till i return home at night, if not i'm compromising my own readings. to the point that my hp went flat because i spent too much time replying msgs and answering calls.
to the point that i was so anxious at night to finish reading.
to the point that i didn't cover disorders the next morning, and i had to still meet others early to explain to them some concepts.
urgh.
and the compulsory question that came out for Bio?
depression. the topic, the lect i missed when i was hospitalised.
and lazy me didn't get the notes from anyone, and when i asked before the paper, they all told me that they didn't understand. urgh.
i spent almost one hour reading all about bio during the paper.
yes it was open book, and questions were innovative. not hard conceptually but not easy to answer really.
so what qualifies all these events as antagonising to me?
i really wanted to get As this sem to push up my cap.
i know i am still angry, nope, at least still regretting that last sem, i was too involved in swaps to study, planning whole sem for the main comm, and studying only when i'm dead tired, and then preparing exam and absolut both at the same time, because i know while all others can out that away during exam, i can't. i shouldn't. i was the camp chairman.
my cap dropped then.
now i want to push it back.
and i finally, thru luck, and giving up hope, and accident ( the pneumothorax), had a break from swaps. i had time to read and prepare for exam properly.
i think i have the potential to score for this exam.
but maybe now results will not turn out as good as i want them to.
ok... so now.... maybe i just set my targets too high.
that's why i am so disappointed now.
might as well i say this, because i know others will console me this way.
but maybe all of you should think in my perspective, my goals are achievable.
i know i can do that.
i'm hard to console.
because i can be very defiant to people trying to console me.
but of cos, i'm only defiant to people who console me, going thru the motion, but never really put themselves in my shoes, or ask how i feel, and just give standard comments.
urgh... you see, i'm being defiant and unconsolable again.
ok ok ok
i think that's enough whining.
all those that i've written up there are in a moment of anger.
but i mean it, if you think you feel challenged by me saying that you can't empathise, remember you are dealing with someone who did his homework on interpersonal communication and effectiveness.
although my results might not show it, i'm quite well-learnt on that topic. as long as i dun forget after the paper because it was crammed learning.
(that's not too friendly from you zhisheng)
but the consoling point for myself is, hey you did learnt a lot during this sem.
so dun be overwhelmed by the results.
what is the worst that can happen if you dun get more than 3 As?
urgh.
ok. i think i complained enough.
most important, someone told me after bio psych exam,
"even though your results are unsatisfactory, conceptually u're one super well-learnt guy."
thanks
this is the stitch of one of the 2 drain sites for the blood after ops. i've never seen any of my stitch before. this is a good chance. 
"trust is something that occurs between people, not within people" (Johnson 2000)
it is valid then to say that i should not be doubting whether someone is trustworthy or trusting enough, because trust is not something i can judge until i form a relationship (an interaction) with him.
Rather it develops from the relationship we share, and that the trust among us is due to the actions of both of us, and not due to hearsay or experiences from others who share relationship with him/her.
thus "trust exist in relationships, not in someone's personality"
The same books also stated that this trust is constantly changing, is hard to build but easy to destroy etc.
how much would you have agreed with this?
| Your dating personality profile: Athletic - Physical fitness is one of your priorities. You find the time to work athletic pursuits into your schedule. You enjoy being active. Practical - You are a down-to-earth individual who is not impressed with material excess. You care about the stuff of like that really matters. Wealthy/Ambitious - You know what your goals are and you pursue them vigourously. Achieving success is important to you. | Your date match profile: Conservative - Forget liberals, you need a conservative match. Political discussions interest you, and a conservative will offer the viewpoint you need. Athletic - You aren't looking for a couch potato. You seek someone who is active and who keeps her body in top shape. Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living. |
Your Top Ten Traits 1. Athletic 2. Practical 3. Wealthy/Ambitious 4. Outgoing 5. Liberal 6. Stylish 7. Traditional 8. Romantic 9. Adventurous 10. Sensual | Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Conservative 2. Athletic 3. Practical 4. Traditional 5. Wealthy/Ambitious 6. Intellectual 7. Romantic 8. Shy 9. Sensual 10. Stylish |
Take the Online Dating Personality Quiz at Dating Diversions
i've done my JCC, which is jungle confidence course. i've seen the killing and skinning of quails, chickens, and lambs. i've even skinned a quail myself.
but i nearly cried when i saw this.
http://www.strasbourgcurieux.com/fourrure/
i couldn't finish the clip...
couldn't bear to watch finish.
freak.
thanks verm for sharing this.
the drain was inserted somewhere between my fifth and sixth ribs (i think), and the idea is to provide a tube for the air stuck between my chest wall and lungs to flow out.
If air is still escaping and stuck there, my lungs can't expand fully, and it means there's no way it will still back to the chest wall (yes naturally it does), and therefore there's no platform for the bleb (the fault) to heal by itself.
The suction machine was added later to help keep air from collecting.
Well, all these failed. and hence my operation in the end. 
For bigger pic, click here
how can one sleep a the proper number of hours and still get tired,
yet when they sleep less than 6 hours yet can remain awake for the whole day?
that's me over the last 4 days.
slept a lot during sat and sun, but yet felt really sleepy when studying.
but when comes mon and tue, only had 5 hours sleep due to projects, i can stay in fighting mode for the whole day.
maybe it's the state i prepared myself in.
i'm in fight mode, and i have epinephrine (adrenaline) and cortisols running all over my body.
but then again the activities are different.
i had to sit down and study during the weekend, while i was constantly working on the laptop and brainstorming ...
any more reasons why?
anyway... if you see the tube in the pic below...
wonder where it leads to?
stay tuned
the woman in my life
oh yeh... they call it the Mum.
i guess over the period where i was lying in hospital, she was there everyday.
yes.. every single day.
it's the boring story of a son finally appreciating the mum.
not for me, who is the one feeling this.
or anyone later on in their lives who feels this.
and though i never really thank her, or explicitly show her that i know,
but you can prob see it in my non-verbal language.
i mean i'm the boy that always 顶嘴
forever sounding impatient.
treat her words like dirt.
but i listened to her, and reassured her that i'm ok, showed her physically i can cope, followed her advice as much as my common sense allows,
and i really listened to her "commands" after discharge.
stuff like not to eat what, not to do what.
yes i followed.
it's hard to put down the front after taking it up for so long.
so i still can't be a totally changed man, be affectionate and manifest my love.
but i do it in a more "man" way.
it's turning out to be a guy thing right? just finding it hard to say thank you and stuff, esp to parents/family.
maybe i'll find a way someday later.
when i myself become a parent.
till then,
for all the soups,
for all the effort spent,
for all the time
for all the concern and much more
thanks mummy.
