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Bringing you one of the quotes I found on the walls of Sch 1 BMTC;

"The difference between a boss and a leader:
the boss says "Go!"
the leader says "Let's go!"

E.M. Kelly

" what i have told you and
what your other friends have told you

are just testimonials of their choices and consequences.

but always remember to take it as story, an account, a sharing.
and not as a sure way to do anything,
or a definite deterrent.

what you have gotten are just more choices and alternate solutions.
now make YOUR OWN choices.

Remember, you are the author of your own life story ~ "


i have been talking lots to my friends.
everyone has been asking me about how's uni
good in the sense that they are still concerned about me, and actually bothered about me.
i think that's heartening.
i have recounted probably 20 times about my uni experience.
that's why i'm inspired to write this quote.
telling them so much, it seems like they are believing a lot of wat i said.
so they also must know they do choose how to live their uni experience!

First major arrow
arrow = as in kenna arrowed to do sai gang

kenna arrowed.
when you have nothing to do...
and people KNOW you have nothing to do...
ha.. all the arrows come searching.

first major arrow: Assist in ORD Function.
being a PC (platoon commander) in my time back then
never really got to the planner stage.
today, got a chance...
although quite sian and unwilling, this is a good chance to try out new things, and i will learn different things along the way.

a totally new experience, although it's the same crowd.
big shots are here, got to do a bit of coordinating, checking and stuff like that.
just wondering along the way
"why is it that any function in BMTC surely got dance gals?"
tonight it's 4 super hot but not really chio Bar Top Dancers ...

Me: "Why do BMTC events always must such Dancers?"
Clerk: "It's normal lah, tekong where got girls, so the entertainment is always gals"

quite true.
and quite an eye opener.
4 gals dancing on our bar top, that is so small and narrow that they were practically stoned to that area they are standing. dance wat shit?

then there were the hotter events,

like taking a "shot" (of tequila and mixer) while the gals sit on the table and you lie between their thighs.

then there was the tequila shots with the salt and lemon stuff.
But the salt is not on the glass, but on the gals bodies!
$5 for arm, $10 for neck, $20 for chest (to be read as licking the salt off the gals bodies, and chest is from the top part of cleavage till near neck.)
eye candy for us man.
fun seeing the gals wiping the saliva and salt off their "chest"

and then the lap dancing: you sit of the sofa and the gals do dirty dancing for you, trying their best to strip you!

NONE of the service below is free, so that's their source of tips.

I really met lots of old friends today at the function too.
get to chat a bit.
good to catch up with them, although probably not so close at all liao.

but the really nice part for me was at the end.
the COs and Commander are not there for nothing.
CO Sch 2 (CO = Commanding Officer) led everyone into singing 朋友,
and yup man, the people joined in!
so nice to see everyone's arms on each other, swinging left and right to the song.
and of cos later Commander himself gave a very inspiring speech, on how everyone here are like family.
and we got to see Commander (COL Lo Yong Poo, part of the team of SOF, Special Ops Force, that raided SQ117, the hijack) do the difficult push ups. He really pushed himself so high up, hands slapped boots and go down again,push up and clap again. That is so strong!

for the first time in BMTC, i felt that i was part of a whole large family.
yes people like us are going to ORD, but when i looked at every single one of them,
i was almost able to imagine running thru my mind how these specialists and officers have touched each and every recruit's life, how they had directly sowed the seeds of a true soldier, a true man, a team player into every recruit.
Because we are at the very first point of Army life for many soldiers, we are playing an important part as agents of socialisation.
These very people here are living models/heroes in countless soldiers' hearts, and memories. They deserved these respect!

As the event draws to a close, everyone joins together in a big circle and sang the Infantry Song as one.
Really, at this moment, i could again visualise these people as recruits, trainees in SISPEC, OCS, as instructors.
It's like those flashback videos you see at those farewell ceremony.
yah... some of these are people you have gone thru thick and thin with.
such cohesion, bonding, is not something you will find easily in the real civilian world.
i am touched.
2 and a half years of "time wasted" and "time well-invested", you decide.

SITREP from 2LT Koh!
SITREP = Situation Report, term in army used to report situation after an engagement with enemy


currently staying out....
but will try to stay in cos save time save money
BMTC is almost still the same.
and many people are disappearing though.
it's a natural cycle.
they call it ORD.

residing in Manpower Branch now...
very relaxed... not because I'm expected to be relaxed cos i'm a disruptee
but because MP Branch is actually quite slack to begin with,
maybe cos the busy periods are not here yet.

anyway.. shall continue to visit my friends.
and do my stuff in camp

hey dude... enjoy this clip.
awesome ~~~
Beautiful Sand Art !!!

back to army

yah people
gaozi will be sort of missing for the next 2 months plus
cos he's back in army
to clear finish his army liability
starts 26 Apr Mon
ORD 14 Jul Wed

whether i'll disappear or be able to catch you people online often will still depend on what internal posting i get tomorrow.
but people take care.
hopefully i have some interesting army stories to share with you all soon.

super long post

Have you all read about Mr Heng Yeow Peow?
the only victim of the Nicoll Highway Accident that wasn't found.
I respect him as a hero.
You dun have to run from Marathon to Athens to be a hero.
or lead the Scots against the English to be a hero.
We know of some little heroes in our lives.
I know of one now.

One who fulfils his responsibility as foreman,
who didn't forget that there were men under his charge,
and didn't run away until he has sort of made sure he sounded
his whistle loud enough for every worker to hear and run for their lives.
It is unfortunate that he didn't make it.
But i salute your selflessness and your bravery.

-----------

Finally watched "Passion of the Christ".
was quite surprised the whole show was in Hebrew and Latin.
and was stunned by the bare truth.
Mel Gibson's directing was not that power, but that's technical issue.
But the actors were quite good.
The events they chose, ie their script was really powerful.
i saw betrayal
i saw rejection
i saw insanity
i saw sadism
i saw denial
i saw ignorance
i saw helplessness

but i couldn't really feel the salvation
couldn't really feel the forgiveness
couldn't really feel the loyalty

is that what totally happened then?
or is that what Mel Gibson understood?
but maybe it helps people appreciate the pain Jesus went thru

------------------

Meetings everywhere.
Cannot believe i spent 10.30 to 9 in sch for meeting
FOC program meeting.
so sian about it cos there are lots of things to plan for.
i'm not ready to commit into such things yet really,
but i'll do it if i have to and develop an acquired negative feeling about it.
then i will try to shun it in the future
it's a selfish motive, because i want to enjoy my first year.
i still want to try out more things in year 2.

but then, you won't see me letting go totally.
i will do it as best as i can.

so my behaviour is in conflict with my intention
and it, as i always like to say, brings about much cognitive dissonance,
which is a huge burden and source of frustration,
a source of my highly unstable mood and temper.
(the FOC example is one of many incidents of Cog Dis in my life)
so sian.
i'm currently reading up to understand this struggle.

By the way, those who went for today's SWAPS main comm meeting...
do i sound too abstract,
like, "Zhisheng, what are you talking about? wat bureaucracy, what changes?"
am i worrying about unnecessary things?
am i highlighting some problems i thought exist in the comm, that, yah according to the majority... doesn't exist?

i am thinking that SWAPS must turn into a professional organisation to really impact,
but people say that is not aligned with SWAPS culture of a family network,
or we are a one year committee, shouldn't step on the next comm's tail...
but are this really a problem?
do we create problem for future people because we pass down a set of do and don't?
then how do professional companies survive?
yah then people will say but we are not wat,.. we are swaps.. we operate on the basis of a family...
then we will not go that FAR.
or you all dun want to go that far?
(Javen): it's hard when people are going to step down...
i find it frustrating.
it has been very hard to suggest changes...
we the more "relaxed" people in the comm (ok javen says the P cell is the busiest)
hence have more time to think of changes,
maybe what we suggest are novel, irrational, not helpful, insignificant,
but skepticism and pessimistic response of certain people is kind of demoralising.
people see problem and try to suggest some solutions,
and you give those standard "but no choice wat..." and "you think it's goin to solve the problem"
..... hello... why so pessimistic? have some adventurous spirit can or not?

Yah, these problems will exist everywhere lah... hoh
just want to complain about that.
eventually, most places will be the same, so try to work around it.

i think to aid you all
maybe you all want to try accessing my blog thru
gaozi.blogspot.com

not www.gaozi.blogspot.com.
thanks

if the picture and css style sheet dun load.
click on the address in the Address bar
such that the words are highlighted again
then press enter.
should be ok like that.

welcome!

hi people!
welcome to the new Gaozi Unplugged

being doing this for one whole day.
but it's not completely done.
still a bit of finetuning at some places
please bear with it.

anyway. thanks for visiting.
the main picture is everything.
if it doesn't load.
pls refresh a few times.
hee.
i'm proud to say all the pictures here are taken by me,
the children at the beach, the sunset
and myself.

i have problem with "wrapping the text"
i dun want people to need to scroll to the right too
can anyone advise me?
thanks !

yeahh... hellboy

it feels so awkward to catch a movie alone.
but i did it
caught Hellboy, and it's a good show.
for those who always fantasize about great evils, and chuckles at how good always prevails over evil.
simple love Liz Sherman's powers.
the energy field that generates and burns!
always fantasized about that when young, about what kind of powers i would want to have if i turn into a mutant!
(ok... i watched too much X-men, and there were also Fantastic Four, Bionic Six, yup.. our era)
but it's always strange to catch it alone, cos there were quite a few funny parts,
and i laughed alone.
so pathetic.
A good movie enjoyed nonetheless.

went back to sch to return the coolpix 4500 i borrowed,
then went library to browse at the psych collection
the aim? perhaps to expose to a wider array of psych material outside the text, to glimpse at the diverse field, so that my field won't be so narrow.
aids me to make informed choices in the future too.
Like wat Desmond always says about reading widely.
on another basis, it's to sustain my interest in psych, and find out what i really want in psych too.
the lvl 3000 i took in developmental psych, i'm not ready for it.
making me quite bored this sem

but well, i started reading about Self Analysis in the library,
something about self-ideal and self-evaluation and Self esteem before i stopped for lunchner (lunch + dinner).
quite interesting.
about how all these self are not personal constructs but are in fact quite heavily influenced by people around us.
well.
for me to read on.

this post is really mundane.
wonder why i posted it.
actually i think i got more insights from today's travel-around to write.
but i lost the mood.
so sian
finish exam too early also not good.
i'm quite sick of entertaining myself liao.

oh by the way those concerned...

i'll be in army from Mon, 26 Apr 04,
to Wed, 14 Jul 04.

it's the same as when your friends are still in army... stay in and book out on weekend.
but i'll prob have more freedom than that.
but not predictable basis.
and i still have 20+ days worth of leave to take...
which i'll reserve for FOC lah...

yup.
so take care everyone.
i should be quite free in army.. ha
so you want can msg me...
or call me in the day. NOT NIGHT.

yeh!!!
all done....

one week of shagged studying and muggin watever...
not all done.

it's a bit sad that it's so cramped.
but yah i was dying for it to finish it isn't it?
and now that i've gone thru all the paper...
actually i'm glad about some things.

sam's tactic on handling exam questions have served me well.
what i studied came out, which was good. Ha.
but what's more impt, i handled the exam by understanding the subject, and not memorising for the exam.
i guess my knowledge will be more intact after the exam also.

i'm refining my studying method again.
which is good.
hope by end of 2nd year, i will acquire an efficient method of studying.
and go further of cos.

yah... finish liao.
so let's continue learning other things.
and book in to army!

"Far far away in the south china sea ah,
i left, a girl, with tears in her eyes.........."


oh... i simply love this meaningful words. pls look at it.
wang-yuan.nease.net/wygs.htm

have you all heard the multilingual version of "When you believe"? the theme song of Prince of Egypt?
it's simply mesmerising!
brings back all the good memories about the show.
and makes me feel human!

it's on tv nowadays... btw

ho man... simply just feel time is against us..
this sem is super short... as least it feels like
only one week of proper studying.,.. and next week is exams...!
man...

My Null Hypothsis for the exam.
Ho : My CAP is going to remain at 3.8, ie U(mju) = 3.8.

I know i'm going to prove that Null Hypothsis wrong man.
So i shall set up my alternate hypothesis as
H1 : U(mju) < 3.8
(do not have to set up the other side... not possible.)
one tail test.

Confidence limit : I'm 99.999 % sure that my X(bar) will end up <3.8.

-------

Ho man. What you know man. 3 super upsets in Champion's League
1. Arsenal out, Chelsea in. 2-3 on aggregate.
2. Real out! Monaco in. 4-5 on aggregate. (Real leading the chase with 3-2, before Morientes do them in)
3. Milan out! Depor in! 4-5 on aggregate. (Milan slaugtered mysteriously 4-0 this morning, 1st leg leading 4-1)

Oh man... all the big teams are faltering... absolut shocker.

--------

NKF, what a scandal just before your donation drive this weekend.
Predict a drop in donations.
Viewers are petty.
And most people are narrow, because the older generation are some of the biggest donors.

--------

Exam tips anyone?
pls read SAM SOO's blog on the right?
on how to score Bs and As.
it helps.

the govt's gonna condemn this...


http://www.twowin.com.tw/alldata/images/fun1139.WMV

a little dosage a day... does you just fine


it's not ketamine.
not ecstasy.
not barbiturates.
whatever.

i think i had quite a happy day, though not entirely productive.
i spent much time early today on discussing social work stuff. somehow talking things out help you to see things better... hence the invention of tutorial.. which we dun make full use of.

but helping out the lady in front of me to look after her laptop while she dine... that little act of help is actually quite gratifying. Smiling to someone who you met before in your tutorial class, just show him/her that "hey, i remember you".. isn't that just wonderful?

i met sujun on my way home,... first time i see her/she see me in nus...
you know i can't keep a conversation alive easily... and thus i was glad that we were talking non-stop ...
it's like back to those good old pri school days...
she's the only old classmate so far that we dun chat about wat happened in the past.. when we were still puny 9, 10-year olds, but we talk about the near future.
ha... always thought she's a high flyer (she is), but she has a simple "little woman" life philosophy.. coupled with touches of modern-female-mentality, to have a life of her own...

and on my way to running just now, waited damn long for the lift, then confirmed it broke down, with people inside.
i could have ignored it, but of cos i didn't, i went to get a neighbour to call.
yah, anyone would have done it, but it doesn't take away the sense of happiness from me,
and anyone will feel that happiness.
even informed the old malay uncle i met downstairs about the lift, so that he won't wait like an idiot.
before i commence on a run to relax my mind.
little dosage of care and concern for others, let your kind intentions materialise, i think that's what we should all be aware of and do.

anyway, i chatted one hour away at swaps table today evening, don't know if it's worth it.
but i've not seen them for ages....
and i've also not seen my notes and readings for ages...
i must meet my quota today so i dun overtax myself next week.
shall see lah...